5 min read

If I sound harsh or come across blunt – keep in mind, most of the time when I write…I’m writing to myself. Don’t get me wrong, I haven’t figured all this out by no means. I have a past I struggle with daily. Things I haven’t shared before, but I know this, if you stay on this train – you’ll watch your life pass you by. So again, if I sound harsh, understand that I know the weight of bad relationships. The weight crushes most people. If you’re dealing with this, I know the chains are heavy and to break free it will require a lot of truth. Keep reading. Honestly, I think we’ve got the whole game confused. You’ve got one life. So many of you are wasting it waiting on someone or something else to give you what you need. I’ve been there, so hear me out. I wrote something on facebook last week and got a lot of interesting feedback from people who messaged me directly. Here’s what I wrote…


This isn’t something I usually post – but, i felt nudged to write it tonight. Hope it helps one of you. I’ve had a lot of conversations this week with people struggling with relationships. People who are struggling with family members and friends. I wanted to share something that’s been on my mind. This may take a minute to sink in. Most people define who other people are simply by what they’ve given them. In other words, why can’t we care about someone deeply if they haven’t given us a thing? Tough thing to think about I know, but Jesus did it and continues to do it daily. None of us deserve His love. So many of you are waiting on someone else to give you something that they could never give. Not only is this damaging to your life but it’s unfair to them. Because of this, everyone runs around either desperately trying to impress people OR they get fed up with it all and stop caring about anyone. Reading this you may not get what I’m saying but just look at the world around you. Let me explain…99% of us spend more time worrying about our relationship with certain friends and family then we do our relationship with the Father. We become more obsessed about how we look to people inside the church rather than being the church. We spend hours trying to diagnose why we can’t seem to make progress with anyone leaving no room for progress in our walk with Christ. Families are drowning because they’ve taken their eyes off Jesus entirely and placed them on each other. This creates an emptiness in people’s lives. Friendships are failing for the same reason. That may sound simple but here’s the fact. If one is following Jesus, he or she would have the empathy, compassion, love and direction to SACRIFICE whatever is needed to repair a relationship. Now, this isn’t always the case! But, I believe most relationships could be healed, marriages brought back from the dead and friendships made new if we actually fixed our eyes on Him. But, most keep searching, gossiping, and pretending. Broken things can’t truly be healed by people who are broken themselves. God has to fill the cup and work through our brokenness. Otherwise, you’ll always be thirsty.

Check out the actual post – click here.

So, I want to dive a little deeper. But, before we do that I want you to watch something. My good friend Pastor Sean Loftis dropped this video in the comments and it hits on some points I’m making. Take a sec and listen…

Boom. Thanks for sharing Sean! Love you fam. But, there’s a few more points I want to make. Btw…if any of you are searching for a place to worship. Go visit Greater Love Bible Church. It’s located in Campobello, South Carolina where Bro Sean Pastors. You’ll love it.



Let’s keep this simple. If your purpose in life does not exceed your problems with your mom, your dad, brother, sister or your friends then you’ll be stuck on this train forever. In other words, you have to find a bigger problem to solve, and GO figure it out. Let your friends see you tackle it. Let your co-workers see you conquer it. Let your mom witness you chase it. It’s like this…Your always going to have problems with people. This is a fallen world. It’s going to happen. Why? Well, we all have problems lol. Even you. Even me. A lot of them. All of us have multiple things we struggle with. Fear, anxiety, anger, laziness and all kinds of trash runs through our veins. THIS frustrates most of us because all this junk tends to pop it’s head up and laugh at us on a weekly basis. Because of this we have a driving force inside of us that wants to sit around, do nothing and judge others because it’s easy. We think it will fill the void we have in our lives with some kind of gratification when we see someone else doing worse then us. Stop it. If we keep looking at each other, nobody will have enough strength to climb out of the pit. If this happens, nobody will be able to reach a hand down to help anyone up. You’ve got to find something that sets you on fire, and go! God didn’t create you to be sitting around all day waiting for someone to say the right thing to you.


If you do this, it will have a rippling effect. Let me break this down. We all have some reason we haven’t stepped into the life we know God has for us. You could sit down right now and probably write those excuses on paper. For many of us, someones name would be on that list of excuses. You think your mom needs to stop being so nosey and your facebook friends need to comment on your posts more. Your dad should apologize, and your cousin should stop gossiping. I could write excuses for days, but here’s the deal…people do these things because usually they’ve never seen anyone else step up, step off the train and do different. Like I should above, 99% of people are on this train and scared to get off because it takes work, humility and most of all empathy. Here’s a few things to start/stop right now…

  • Stop putting unrealistic expectations on other people.
  • Stop using other people as the reason you haven’t changed.
  • Stop checking the facebook statuses of the same 5 “friends”.
  • Stop being so scared to love (I had to deal with this at a deep level)
  • Replace the energy you spend gossiping to fit in, with time in the Word.  
  • Start praying for the people who are causing so much sorrow in your life. 
  • Spend more time fishing for souls then fishing for likes and compliments. 
  • Realize you have people watching you and every decision you make matters. 
  • Realize that you could be the one to break the generational cycle of sin in your family. 
  • Make a VERY intense effort to get around some people who are really following Jesus. 
  • Most of all, stop reading stuff, being convicted by it then doing nothing about it. 


The more I meet new people, the more I learn most live with no urgency about life. Most of us simply just take it for granted. I believe when you truly start to follow Jesus, you become very self aware of James 4:14. You stop worrying about what others think. You stop fishing for compliments. You stop looking for validation in other people and you start looking for it from God. He already told you you’re great. He already said you’re beautiful, wonderful, and special. He already told you that you are made more than a conqueror. So, when you step off the train…you stop waiting for something different to happen in your life and you start focusing on your days, hours, minutes and seconds. Let me remind you…if the devil can control your seconds, he will control the entire day. The week. The month. The year. Your entire life. 

He seeks to devour you. And if he has to use relationships to do that, he will. If he has to use someones gossip to keep you confused and angry, he will. If he has to use someones evil agenda to keep you quiet, he will. If he has to use your parents disobedience to keep you from God’s calling, he will. I will say it one more time, you have to stop looking to others for satisfaction. You can’t quench your thirst from a dry well. Most people on this train are building a house on sinking sand. Most are building a house, worrying about decorating the walls, getting the right lighting, and making sure the TV is big enough meanwhile the cement you built the house on was broken the whole time. So, the next time it rains – the house will fall. If you seek life from this world, you’ll have no life. Realize you’re going to die one day, and that each day you’re writing another page of your story. If you stay on this train, the story written on those pages will be sad and boring – because all you did was sit in one place, worried about what others think as the world passed you by. Get off of the train. Don’t get back on. While your at it, throw other people off with you. Pull your family off with you. Pull your friends off with you. I’ll end with this. The best way to have healthy relationships is to follow Christ. What do I mean? I mean, be a servant. Not just one in front of your friends and family but be one in your heart. Thanks for reading! Let’s get off this train headed nowhere. Go tell someone there’s life on the other side of those doors. Tell them God has something for them, but you have to step out of the boat onto deep waters, where Jesus is. : )

Let’s go,


Have you seen some of the footage from our Guyana Crusade? Check it out here:


Categories: Blog

1 Comment

Karen Gaynor · July 3, 2018 at 1:52 am

Beautiful words. Deep, deep spiritual message. I have tears of joy knowing from whence you’ve come! You both are so very precious to me & I want to shout from the mountaintops that God is so good! Who would have EVER thought we would end up in ministry together? Love you both DEARLY and thankful that God placed you in my life! Love you and keep on shining your light! ??????

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